Five days home already! In hospital you are incarcerated, incapacitated and for a while, in agony. Was I brave? No. Was I a heroine? No! As you know, this blog is to educate, not look for sympathy or attention. I paused before writing this post to gather myself mentally and emotionally. Factually, I am now without any kidneys. All I am aware of is, that should I overdo drinking any liquids (400ml per day), I will swell up like a Michelin man and put massive strain on my heart before dialysis could remove the excess fluid.
I find the control of our own mind a curious thing. As I know my life literally depends on my own choices for the foreseeable future, in terms of liquid intake, the desire to drink has ceased to exist. If I get thirsty, I suck ice, which relieves the thirst.
Yesterday, I went to dialysis very early (5am) as I was desperate to get to the funeral of a close family friend. Usually, when you come off dialysis, it takes about 5 minutes for the hole in your arm to clot. Naturally, because I was anxious to leave asap, my arm wouldn’t clot. The more the nurse checked if the arm was still bleeding, the more we had disturbing little red fountains of blood. “Relax” she said.
“I am,” I replied. After 30 minutes, the hole finally clotted, and with my arm engulfed in swabs and plasters, I rushed off. It struck me as we were driving to the funeral that the more anxious I got, the less inclined my blood was to clot. Had I remained calm, I could have probably left the dialysis unit a lot quicker.
The same applies to being in hospital. If you accept the fact that you are removed from your normal life for a while and have a positive attitude towards what you are dealing with, you have a far better chance of surviving whatever your health challenge is.
It is 95% certain Jill will no longer match, but as my kids say, until it is proven on paper we are no longer compatible for a living donor transplant, we have to think positively. My body has to settle from the trauma (+/- 6 weeks ) of surgery and soon we will repeat the crucial virtual cross-matching test…. SO, let’s all think positive, enjoy the Olympics and thank God that summer is around the corner!!! With Love, Di and Kids xxx